Cleo bachelor party

To have a good laugh, olduvai and I went to the Cleo bachelor party. Unlike the screaming girls and women in The Tent at Ngee Ann City, our sole purpose was to witness the men's embarrassing antics.

We both agreed that the smartest contestants were the ones who chose not to sing or dance, but to simply take part in games with volunteers from the floor. Thank goodness Hossan Leong was the host. His sidesplitting jokes, doused in Singaporean humour, were the best!!!

I can't remember the exact jokes now, but there was something about "you see the esplanade, two durians, then river over there very smelly, that's why the merlion goes oorhhyeah (puking sound)!!!". Very duh, but so very funny, the way he said them.

Anyways back to the bachelors. There were the damn gek seh ones..uhm..this one Chinese guy who obviously was very mistaken about his identity - he thought he was black. Started rapping in this oh-so-cool American accent and going "C'mon! Scream!".

There was the bachelor band that sucked big time. I repeat, sucked big time!!! Totally ruined the songs Yellow by Coldplay and Harder to Breathe by Maroon 5. And we couln't hear the electric guitars. So you just see the fingers running while the players try to emulate the jerking and headbanging of rock stars. But you hear, like, absolutely nothing lor.

There was this song by (according to Olduvai) The Darkness, which the singer totally spoilt cos he shrieked like a banshee. And there were still girls screaming their lungs out!!! Oh man. And before he started singing, he actually declared: "You will hear nothing like you've ever heard before!!!" Oh yes, it was like NOTHING I've ever heard before.

It seems like lpts guy took his role as bachelor very seriously. I mean like seriously enthu about everything. Unfortunately (and oblivious to him), his dancing in the striptease segment (uhm..went topless only la) was pole-stiff, and he still managed an "all right, brother!" handshake with another contestant. Oh yes, he HAD to introduce himself as a photographer who worked for the BIGGEST newspaper in town. Please.

Hmm...I guess other than Hossan, the one and only other redeeming factor about the party was this guy who did the catwalk in jeans. His body was indeed yummy. Aiya, I think he should have won la. Well, either him or this Indian guy who kept a very low profile.