Sending off

In a short span of three months, two close relatives have passed on. First one to go was my very dear fourth aunt in July. And just last week, my maternal grandpa left us so suddenly. The latest death, especially, has unravelled a long trail of issues that have left me with such mixed feelings. Some members of my mother's family have jokingly suggested I write a book on the family. You know, with the complicated happenings over the last 50 years in this household, I think I could really win a print prize with the book. A short story prize, maybe.

BURIAL AT SEA:
At 10.30 this morning, nine of us gathered at Clifford Pier to take the bumboat out to sea to scatter the ashes of my grandpa. The boat took us out to somewhere in East Coast, which the Singapore Casket employee (who came with us) said was less dangerous cos there were fewer boats around in case of a possible collision.

There were some light moments. Like when my oldest aunt, who was cradling the bag of ashes so carefully, was afraid that she would drop the bag while crossing from one shaky bumboat to another. We told her to sling the bag on her arm but she said she didn't want my grandpa to be "gong dio" ie hit against, in Hokkien. My cousin and I looked at each other in amusement, while my mother just chuckled.

When we reached East Coast waters, each of us grabbed a handful of my grandpa's bones - they were all reduced to tiny pieces - and threw them out to see. We then scattered fresh flowers. It was all over in a matter of five to 10 minutes.

Another light moment: Uncle R followed the Singapore Casket employee's instructions word for word, dumping the two plastic bags in the water as well. We all couldn't help exclaiming: "Ah? Plastic bag also throw into the sea?" My mother added, without a slight laugh: "Isn't that littering?" Then as usual, there was a racuous, but short, discussion on why he shouldn't have thrown the non-biodegradable plastic bags as well. Uncle R's answer? Just following instructions what, how I know?

MANDAI CREMATORIUM AND COLUMBARIUM
This new construction is really worlds apart from Mount Vernon, where my dad's niche is housed. The Mandai place looks like the NUS Cultural Centre and I'm not joking. The dead are sent off in style here. The architecture is so modern and minimalistic, using light-coloured wood, glass and metal as its main building materials. There are also peaceful pockets of green park, with seats, for you to relax in, like a country club. There are rectangular pools of water that just remind you of Zen. Very peaceful and I think that's the idea the designers wanted to give the place. To give grieving family members a sense of peace.

Even the contraption transporting the coffin into the service hall is automated. The service hall looks fit to house an intimate performance. The ceiling and spotlights are so fashionably designed, there's even a skylight directly above where the coffin lies. My brother said it sort of symbolises the dead rising to heaven when you see the rays shining through the skylight.

The viewing gallery is also so different from Mount Vernon's. During my dad's funeral, it was extremely traumatic to see the coffin shoved into the hole for cremation. But at Mandai, through the viewing window on an upper storey, you simply look down and watch the automated contraption carry the coffin through a doorway. After which, two zen-looking wooden doors close slowly. No shoving needed. It was all very clinical I must say.

After that all 15 of us walked to Block C to visit my fourth aunt's niche. It was also the first time my mum and her siblings visited their grandma's niche, which was in the same block. And here, a mystery was solved. You see, my grandpa is the adopted son of his foster mother (ie the grandma I just mentioned). But my mum and her siblings never knew how he was related to his foster mother.

It's really complicated to explain here, but at the niche, they found out (through the help of me and my cousin who can read Mandarin) that my grandpa was actually the nephew of his foster mother. That is, my grandpa's biological father was the brother of this foster mother.

Anyways, this is just a foretaste of the complicated nature of the Gan family. Maybe one day when my mind is clearer, I'll turn novelist for their sake.

An earful of everything

Singaporeans, I must say, are a pretty spoilt bunch. I was having a facial done today (yes, so that I'll have beautiful skin at cocoatina's wedding) and there was a conversation going on about overpriced eggs between my beautician and a customer. It went like this:

Customer (in Mrs PCK manner): Aiyoh, you know ah, that day I went to buy eggs and you know how much they cost? $6.50 for 10 eggs!! The eggs were soooooooo small leh!!! My goodness, they were the smallest eggs I've ever seen!!!
Beautician: Boh bian lah...if don't put eggs, boh hoh jia (ie not nice to eat). Like for maggi mee, you must put egg lor...if not boh hoh jia...

(I interject, in my mind that is: Wah lau, maggi mee don't put egg can die meh?)

Customer: Aiyoh!! I can't believe the eggs are sooooo small leh!!! I try to look for other eggs, got the pigeon...eh no, is the quail is it? yar the quail eggs and the century eggs. But aiya cannot la...
Beautician: Boh pian la....

And the customer repeats her point like I don't know how many times man. Seriously, it's not like there's a shortage of a staple like rice...That eggy conversation aside, I must say that I was enjoying quite some good music at the same time. My beautician has good taste in music I must say. The radio was on and Class 95 had their soft rock session on and the songs were great! There was She's in Fashion and this other Guns n Roses song etc...Love soft rock though I don't know that many titles. Was so inspired (and also cos Leo has been intro-ing me to lots of his soft rock songs, like Red Hot Chilli Pepper and Maroon 5 and Gin Blossoms and Third Eye Blind etc...). Yes, so bought the Maroon 5 CD from Gramophone, which I'm listening to now. Very nice!

Oh and on the way to Gramophone, I passed Jeffrey busking at his usual spot outside Centrepoint. Jeffrey is actually Leo's blind cousin who's damn good at guitar-playing..basically he's a one-man band la. And I just had to stand and listen to his wonderful guitar blues. Said hi to him and he played a George Benson fusion jazz piece for me. Haha. Inspired me so much again I bought a George Benson CD from Gramophone too.

And err...I bumped into Malcolm at Gramophone and he intro this CD called Double Take by this duo comprising Roger Wang (guitarist) and Mia Palencia (vocalist - very good - only about 19 years old). Has jazz songs, original compositions and pop ballads. Some are in English, some in Tagalog and some in Malay. Quite a refreshing change from the usual jazz CDs cos somehow I realise they all sound the same after some time and play the same songs. This duo is like the Asian Tuck and Patti. Haven't listened to it carefully yet, but I liked the sound when the Gramophone guy played it. (Oh Malcolm was the one who recommended the George Benson CD too.)

I guess I'm quite broke now cos I bought some other stuff from OG today too :)

Here comes the flower girl (part 2). See what I mean? Your dad even records your segment so you can play it again and see where you went wrong. Superstar treatment! :)

Here comes the flower girl! Haven't you noticed that at almost all weddings, the flower girl snatches all the attention away from the bride, no matter how beautiful the lady in white is? And so, if I had a chance to ever walk down the aisle in my next life (tho I don't believe in next lives...for the sake of making a point lah), I would rather turn up as a flower girl rather than the bride. Don't have to worry about horrendous wedding preparations, just have to walk. Even if I made a mistake, it wouldn't matter. After all, everybody would just laugh and then coo "oh so cute!!!". Just like Lourdes here testifies to it (nope she didn't tell me, but I'm sure she would have if I asked.) It's cocoatina and kelly's wedding rehearsal that she's preparing for. One more week to go for The Big Day!!!

Sparks flew

Someone pls call the fire brigade. I think my flat might burn down anytime. No disrespect to other people's religious practices but I just don't understand why some people are still burning their joss paper on the grass and not in the huge metal bins. It's such a fire hazard!!! (Yep, it's the hungry ghost festival again.)

I was walking at the void deck just now, on my way home from work when a frenzy erupted before me. Some people were chasing after their joss paper - which were ON FIRE - cos the wind had started to blow. Well, the pieces of paper flew past me and landed 1m away from me. I almost stretched out my feet to step out the fire, but decided against it. Why did I have to risk spoiling my perfectly nice pair of M)phosis sandals right? Cos of some people's inconsiderate behaviour. Scenes of a blazing Block 296 did flash through my mind for a few seconds, but I figured out what the heck man, I'm not going to end up with a pair of disintegrated footwear cos of some people's foolishness!!???!!! Right???

So off I went. To a piping-hot meal waiting for me. Call me selfish but my flat's still standing. Hopefully it will still be tomorrow. Sheesh.

Wakeboarding: Yeah!!! Finally went for my first wakeboard outing!!! Very fun :) Pretty pleased that I managed to get up on my third try. But I must say balancing is quite a tricky thing. All the gals on the boat managed to stand too. My arms, back and thighs are all aching badly today. So weak! Haha, couldn't even take off my shirt properly. So painful...Must be using some wrong muscles, plus the lack of regular exercise. Heh. Looking to go again the next time. Hopefully won't ache so much then!

Bird's eye view: It's great fun living on the top floor of this pretty high HDB flat in Jurong West, I find. From all of 16 floors up, you can see the Jurong Lake, the teeny weeny Chinese Garden in the background...No rolling hills and green meadows, yes, but it's still a view many don't get to see everyday! (This is Leo's home by the way.)

Book-a-pub

Guess where I went today?

Well, I was browsing through books in a....pub!!! Hmm...ok, more like a function room above BQ Bar at Boat Quay. There was a second-hand book sale going on and Kel and I went to take a look. Not too bad, I bought three books:
1) Dave Barry is from Mars and Venus (which I started reading on the train ride home - quite funny!!!) by Dave Barry of cos.
2) The War of the Worlds/The Time Machine by HG Wells
3) Toujours Provence by Peter Mayle

Kel chose the quirky ones, which you'd probably can never find in the library.

We couldn't take our eyes off the books cos we're so afraid we'd miss out a stunning title! We were like digging through the boxes of books and we err...went two rounds. Would have gone another round if I didn't stop us. Haha. Well, I'm in high spirits today :)