The worst of 2007:
That would have to be being cheated on by the ex - for a married woman, no less. That's not even the worst part. He put me under the impression that the breakup had to happen because we couldn't agree on whether or not to have kids. The truth? Well, I guess going back to the woman after he promised me he wanted to make a clean break with her says enough, right?
I thought I would never be able to say all these to anybody, but now I can. I did ask a friend before: Is it worse to have the man cheating blatantly on you, or him acting like he still loves you but does all these things behind your back? She said, the latter. And that was him. Him, I thought I'd knew so well, but didn't at all. Just two words to describe him: Fucking Bastard.
All I can say is that in all my 28 years, this is the first time someone has trampled on my self-worth. It's somewhat more horrible than experiencing the death of a loved one. At least you know you're powerless against death. But to be powerless against someone snatching away a big part of your esteem, does make you seem like quite a failure really. Rejection is that terrible feeling that can make you feel so unwanted, so desperate. And that's how I felt. Not the loss of someone I used to love.
The best of 2007:
That would be how God saved me from the relationship, and preserved me. I know He listens and He knows. Like how he gave a church friend a dream about me, and the message that God wants me, and God made me unique and special, and that I should not question my uniqueness. Yes, He always knows. But as I am human, I need to heal. But I know that as I go through the valleys (which I always will), He will be there to carry me through. I must always trust Him.
Other bests of 2007 would be an enjoyable job, good health, my supportive family and beautiful girlfriends. To all the girls who've journeyed with me through 2007, I love you all.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
6 comments:
Here is to new beginnings in 2008 :)
he's the biggest fool on earth not to see what a treasure he had in you! good riddance to him, woman. we girls are behind you all the way!
and yes...i've experienced the love of God this year too....it's times like these when you're feeling so absolutely helpless and lost, that you realise that you can do nothing, except to trust in Him and lean on His strength to get you through each day.
:) love ya girl! ~ w
The love of God has taken me through the year as well and I'm much thankful to Him.
Trust that He will continue to take you through your healing and shower you with plenty of love. :)
thanks girls :)
keep on trusting in God (for those who do! heh)
You have such courage, and I am sure your heart will find a deserving owner soon. Happy 2008!
hey dawn, i'm not sure why there are so many "pretend kuai" guys around and why things have to end up this way. But remember that this experience only makes you wiser and more discerning of the people you meet. God will turn these ashes into roses - and from your blog, I reckon there are already some pretty blooms in the works! have a beautiful week ahead!
Post a Comment