I wanted to write a tirade of stuff against the Ex. And I wanted to title it "Hate Psalm for the Ex". No, wait a minute, it would be lowercase "e" for "the ex", cos he absolutely doesn't deserve the capital status. Actually while I was waiting at the bus-stop after Festival of Praise earlier, I did come up with some fantabulous phrases. They just kinda conjured up in my head. But my anger subsided. It's weird how after a night of wonderful praise with Delirious? (they're still so good tho abit emo now) and Don Moen, I could still think up such scathing remarks. Yeah, I think somewhere deep inside me that anger reaches boiling point and then simmers. When it's at boiling point, it's somewhat like this... ok maybe I should write a bit of that Hate Psalm. Why Hate Psalm? Cos it's as honest as it can get, and King David was as honest as he could get in the book of Psalms in the bible.
Ok so here goes...
Ihateyou
Youfgsoab
.......
Oh well, there was much much more in my head at the bus-stop, and I did think I was such a wonderfully angry poet, someone should pay me money to write stuff like that. But now, the words are not coming. Maybe one day, when I can't get to sleep and start getting angry, I should switch on my macbook and start typing furiously. Yeah, when I feel like breaking the beer jug and splashing the whole damn thing into his freakin face. And if that bitch is there, perhaps her too. Ok the anger's coming, I better stop. Seriously, sometimes people look at me and ask me if I'm all right. Seriously? I'm damn all right lor, what do you think? If only I could stop being angry. Because every time I think what a fg cheating liar he was, and I repeat fg cheating liar, I just wanna scratch his car. Do something. Whatever. If I really ever see him again, I would really have to do all I can to stop myself from kicking his bloody ass. Piece of shit you are.
God, I know you totally understand. Just help me be less angry.
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4 comments:
dude.. you should totally write it allll down. Don't stop yourself from letting it out ok??? you have every right to be angry, so just let yourself be!
Letting the anger out in a relatively safe way (such as writing) is okay... but if the anger keeps coming back, then maybe asking God to show you what's really behind the festering, recurring pain and to help you deal with it or surrender it might be more helpful for you in the long run. Well, at least it might help you breathe easier. I've major issues with anger too.
kopikia: yep, i know i need to let it all out, if not it's gonna eat me up!
kelvin: well, God is slowly showing it to me... :) thnks for ur comment...
oh no this is really awful. bitch all you want man, he deserves it. we're here for you girl. come hang out!
- eugenie
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